The next big thing.

I'm terrible at math.

That's not at all an understatement. Frankly to put a number on it, I scored a 720 on my verbal SAT's (back when they were out of 800) and 500 on my math. So, to be plain, I can tell you very clearly and in great detail how I suck at polynomial equations.

But I am very good at take a mental accounting of things. Accounting doesn't necessarily have to do with math, it's just that the image of an accountant stirs up images of grey haired men who bend over a huge stack of papers all day long, adding an subtracting lives down to little 1's and 0's. But over the last few days I've managed to take a mental accounting of what I've been doing with myself now that I'm painting full time; mostly of things that help and hinder my production. For example, painting miniatures: good. Playing Warhawk till my hands are shaking and my eyes are ready to fall out of my head: not as good. Thus, I'm making a concentrated effort to be more faithful to the thing which I have put so much on the line to do.

This is mostly because I sold a painting this weekend.

The thrill of selling a painting is almost numbed by the need to sell more paintings. Kasey is of the opinion that I should enjoy it, but that is incredibly difficult, as stopping to smell the roses involves stopping. And stopping is bad for inertia, which is bad for painting, which is good for Warhawk, which is bad for my sanity, which is almost as bad for anybody of the receiving end of my war tank.

Part of this accounting is looking back at the things I used to do that were good and helpful to me. Blogging was one of those things, back when I wrote a blog once a week on myspace (back when that was the place to be). But I stopped that; mostly because of the trouble it began to create for me at work. I couldn't be putting down what I actually thought of things if work was to be reading about it; irritation about being ferried hither and thither by the needs of running 10 art studios in Los Angeles, the funny things kids do when your attempting to teach them to draw, videos taken of me by my students and even the benign observations about the quirks of working for people you admire and respect were all no-no's that could easily land me in worlds of trouble. And so, the necessity to monitor what I said gave way to the inability to say anything at all.

Not being bound by a employers code of conduct (or thought) anymore I'm rebooting Diary of a Genius. My plan is to work on it once, maybe twice per week. Including an honest accounting of my progress and work. I know that thre are people out there who follow this type of thing, because I'm one of them. I am constantly looking for thoughts on linen, board, paint brands, working techniques, experimentation, medium making and all of the knowledge and process that goes into painting.

And once again, like before, there will be no modesty to be found on this blog. Modesty is for quitters.

-F